i escape

CERN's Large Hadron Collider went online yesterday and completed it's first major test.

The world's largest particle collider passed its first major tests by firing two beams of protons in opposite directions around a 17-mile (27-kilometer) underground ring Wednesday in what scientists hope is the next great step to understanding the makeup of the universe.

Eventually two beams will be fired at the same time in opposite directions with the aim of recreating conditions a split second after the big bang, which scientists theorize was the massive explosion that created the universe.

We're doomed. And related news, Stephen Hawking is betting against the machine discovering the Higgs boson, aka "God's particle", a particle "believed to give mass to all other particles, and thus to matter that makes up the universe."

"I think it will be much more exciting if we don't find the Higgs. That will show something is wrong, and we need to think again. I have a bet of 100 dollars that we won't find the Higgs," added Hawking, "and another 100 that we all fucking die. AAAAHH!"